My body and soul are broken. I haven’t been whole for a very long time. There are moments in life when I actually can smile and laugh, but I still feel broken inside. I’m tired, so very tired, all the time now. I believe I have reached a new low.
My bed is my heaven and my hell. A place for sleep but never recovery, and the place for anxiety and tears in the small hours of the morning. A feeling of great loss, but no one has died.
I don’t want to feel this way, I want to be happy. But from where I am standing, happiness is out of sight, I’m in the dark. J.K. Rowling wrote “happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light”. But she never tells us where the light switch is. I really need to find that switch before it’s too late. Before the dark eats my heart.